tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-4119367461890632622024-03-08T09:08:26.799-05:00hello treesa move to the country ...!!!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger188125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-60815016748721756072013-04-06T14:56:00.002-04:002013-04-06T21:49:19.418-04:00returnSpring, finally! Though it's still cold (burning fires and wearing sweaters), the snow is slowly melting and the sun seems warmer and happier.<br />
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It's been awhile since I wrote. The year's been both fast and slow. The fastness that comes with aging, motherhood, keeping busy... and slowness that comes with endless chores, evening exhaustion, and a long winter. But we're rounding a corner, thanks to the weather, and light and energy is returning.<br />
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We've closed down our store's brick location - not because it was unsuccessful or unenjoyable, but simply to simplify. We're operating online-only, allowing for more reserves, flexibility, and freedom. It was a great experience, running a small town shop, and I'm glad we did it.<br />
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2013 is shaping up to be a wild ride in itself, but more on that later.<br />
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Our kiddo continues to be awesome, doing his own thing, at his own pace, and taking us all along for the ride. His joy and giggles know no bounds, and every day is a happy one. Our adventures through the medical system have only strengthened my resolve to remain an intense and dedicated mother, continually being proven that my own motherly intuition is the height of knowing his abilities and strengths. And even then, he surprises me, and I expect this will always be the case. What lucky parents are we.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-65653320412398913842012-11-20T09:11:00.003-05:002012-11-20T09:11:40.601-05:00:)When the heart is full, the words are few.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-28604528045827689612012-08-04T15:32:00.000-04:002012-08-04T20:42:19.507-04:00cows, baby, bizLast night while we were watching a movie, Farmer D came by to drop off gifts: veggies for me the vegetarian, and a box of frozen meat goods for the hubs. Also, some cash. It's a nice transaction, to gets some local eats, a nice chat with a well-knowledged (and willing to share) farmer, and a little dough, for looking after majestic cow creatures. Cows are special, even tho they're doomed. They came over from the next farm (extremely dry summer so looking for grass, and able to cross the usually uncrossable marshland) and are staying to eat at our place. There's over 25, half babies. It's lovely and the farm feels farmy now.<br />
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I thought this year would be THEE year of hyper-documentation, with the baby and all he does. Also because I'm "not working"... but... time is so precious and all that. A's naptimes are well-spent. Also, living in the moment - everything is always happening now and I have willingly let myself become immersed in that. As a result, I'm the happiest I think I've ever been!<br />
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But in the spirit of baby news... A's 8 months now and continuously astounding and beautiful. He seems to be a "late bloomer" with things like sitting and crawling and feeding himself but am confident that will all come, of course, and just watching him grow at his own pace. <br />
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He's getting a little more hammy/goofy... sometimes making himself laugh. He also seems to be newly exploring the emotion "anger", waking up early in the morn seemingly pissed off - aggressively foot-thumping and baby-yelling. Though other mornings a peek in the crib yields a smile from the sweetest little cherub of a lad. I honestly can't think of any complaints with Arch - the kid's a gem. He sleeps wonderfully and plays solo happily and rarely cries.<br />
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The house is still a construction zone: pails under the kitchen sink, missing drywall, door-less closets, piles of flooring stacked, tools everywhere... all made tolerable by the thought of a nicer home in the end.<br />
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Prepping for an online store for our store - it's overdue. We have high hopes for it though will be pleased with anything. Speaking of which, time to get back at it. It's nice to code again. I like PHP.<br />
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<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-10408843335642498652012-07-14T16:18:00.001-04:002012-07-14T16:33:29.984-04:00a whole lot of nothingDad sent me a comic strip, many years ago, when I was kinda down in the dumps. It's on my bulletin board now and makes me smile. It's a picture of a bumblebee thinking, "Hmm, what's on my list to-do today?"...... "JUST BEE" ..... "bzzz....♥". This is basically my life on maternity leave. A whole lot of nothin but happily being and buzzin.<br />
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The Arch man is becoming quite the little lad... he's LOVELY. So gentle and happy and clever. This kid has made my life wondrous and I am thankful every day. 7 1/2 months already! Here he is with his aunt:<br />
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Other things on the go:<br />
<ul>
<li>IKEA Kitchen planner</li>
<li>Chasing runaway dogs</li>
<li>Feeling depressed about my fried garden and then saying "oh well"</li>
<li>Manual removal of milkweed</li>
<li>Looking out the window at a large pile of wood</li>
<li>Being surrounded by home renovation materials</li>
<li>Looking at commercial properties for sale and dreaming</li>
<li>Celebrating 2 years married to a hilarious and lovable man</li>
<li>Trying not to think about going back to work</li>
<li>Writing a short story for a magazine contest</li>
<li>Store orders </li>
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Bzzzzz.... ♥Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-51601145999819502752012-03-02T10:52:00.003-05:002012-03-02T11:54:11.390-05:00artist motherI have all this time and all these ideas. How to sew the two together is still being worked out. I used to have nothing but time, in my early 20's, and even more ideas, and I did well to work them... I would stay up late with a typewriter wearing a nightgown and a toque, smoking cigarettes. It was a weird time but I was really productive, and I look back on some of my poetry, sketches, and writings and think "shit, that was good stuff"... and then feel a little nostalgic, tho I'd never go back.<br />
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I'm reading Patti Smith's memoir "just kids" and it's got me in a certain state of mind, like I'm reliving my own past in the background. Back when lofty ideas of artistry and the making of things were real and happening. Back when all the kids around me were doing the same thing. I lived in a house with artists and a rainbow coloured staircase in Baldwin village. <br />
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Life is better now but I want to get back to making artistic use of my time. Even if it doesn't mean anything to the outside world, it's good for me. I used to make music but now I don't care for it so much. I'd rather write. Or make videos. Or take photographs. Or I dunno. Anything. I still have many months before going back to work, and Archer is usually accommodating to whatever, so it's just the doing part. What to do and when. Hopefully soon it will amount to more than just drinking too much coffee and writing about how things used to be.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-33428803266162050692012-02-09T09:33:00.001-05:002012-02-09T09:35:58.195-05:003am<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z021o8RQO0E/TzPZH6uSi7I/AAAAAAAABKw/k9ehkfmUd3Q/s1600/DSCF9664.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Z021o8RQO0E/TzPZH6uSi7I/AAAAAAAABKw/k9ehkfmUd3Q/s400/DSCF9664.JPG" /></a></div>The song "3am" by pal Jim Guthrie is in my head a lot these days, especially at... 3am. Arch is waking up roughly every 3hrs at night still, which is fine... but looking forward to a longer stretch of sleep in the coming months (fingers crossed). He's usually pretty good to eat and go back to sleep but last night at 1am he was lying in his cradle laughing and laughing - tiring and adorable.<br />
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It's been sunny winter days these days. Sunshine is the best. All I think about now when I stare out the window is gardening - I'll have so much time to garden this spring and summer, being on maternity leave, and I just want to grow so much food for us. We also have a freezer now and A will be eating food food so... lots of motivation behind me. D and I also always talk about wanting to eat more raw food... while we sip on coffee and boil eggs. <br />
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We sell organic seeds at <a href="http://mixedgreens.ca">our store</a> so I'll have lots to choose from for my own garden. I've already started some flowers and herbs, and will continue to start seeds from now until spring. SPRING! Gotta go.<br />
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p.s. Got my bro to shoot our chickens... gulp. They were old, not laying too much, and requiring too much effort right now. Thinking we'll get a bunch of chicks in the spring tho.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-82232512187639774712012-02-04T10:57:00.001-05:002012-02-04T11:05:57.274-05:00my icies<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1SiGK5Wp2fI/Ty1UD5xsLkI/AAAAAAAABKc/T7vG-Go2VII/s1600/DSCF2389.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1SiGK5Wp2fI/Ty1UD5xsLkI/AAAAAAAABKc/T7vG-Go2VII/s400/DSCF2389.JPG" /></a></div>It's sometimes hard to convince myself that A can hang on his own, awake, and be well. Well as in not bored not being stimulated, not somehow being made smarter by interacting with toys and me. But I can also tell it's good for him to chat with his own hands on a pillow in the sun - simple, quiet, reflective. Some baby zen. I'm watching him do that now... His little fists starting to rub at his eyes... he'll nap soon. I'm comforted by his ability to self-soothe, to sleep on his own accord. And these minutes I'm stealing for myself feel vindicated (this time). <br />
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We haven't been out in awhile. There is a thick sheet of ice at the bottom of the porch steps, all the way to the driveway. It's too close to the house to dump ashes on, but maybe I can find an old ashes-hole (that sounds funnily so much like another word) in the field and spread some of those. The general iciness of the world right now is a little scary to hold a baby in. Sometimes I think about what it would be like to be mothering back in Toronto - I could simply walk places, on well-travelled sidewalks, and see friends, and go to a cafe, and sit in the world. It would be easier to do that. I'm more isolated here, on the farm, tho it's only cos I choose to let that icy path stop me...<br />
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We were quite the pair last week while D was away. He was helping paint his parents' Owen Sound house in preparation for selling it (!). There's a beautiful house here we're hoping they can move into. Will be nice to have them closer, for both them and us, and of course Archie. Anyway, it was just me and babe for several days. It was exhausting to not have a break, but also I felt something special I hadn't tapped into so vivdly before - a very clear, calm feeling in my body. Whole, clean, focused, well. Those awesome breastfeeding hormones most likely, but also maybe motherhood.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-1259309123411349822012-01-28T16:05:00.002-05:002012-02-04T11:26:16.050-05:00some daysSome days are tired... watery-eyed, weak, edgy. Hard to keep cheer in the voice, hard to muster enthusiasm, hard to be polite and interesting. Try to stay alert long enough to shower, careful not to let the knees buckle like they want to, to wash away at least one layer of exhaustion. Physically irritated - hair irritating, socks irritating, glasses irritating... on top of the sound of his insistent crying. Back especially sore, and wrists. Then at night, two hours of sleep feels like two seconds - 2.30am already? only?<br />
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Some days are well rested and fun. Waking only once in the night, and he eats and is changed without opening his eyes. The morning feels like victory and the afternoon is good. Even a fancy breakfast, and some productive day time moments on projects long lingering. Almost want to rouse him from naps to play and cuddle and coo (almost). We sing and dance... and the crying doesn't sound as bad, and stops quickly. Husband happy I'm happy. I'm happy I'm happy. Cozy and thankful... that's mostly how it is.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-294670581166762802012-01-20T12:03:00.002-05:002012-01-20T12:32:26.352-05:00waking archHe stares out the window at the tree line, not really seeing it but feeling the shadows of trees. The sun is shining behind them, onto the bed. I'm happy to be raising a child in nature because it's a great presence, even unseen. We're surrounded, protected, kept. It's quiet and good.<br />
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He's especially happy in the mornings - well rested and cooing, smiling his parents awake, unable to resist the charm of an early grin. Fed and diapered and then one of us will make the coffee, rekindle the fire, let the dogs out... and the other will snuggle. <br />
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Not venturing out at all... will change that soon. For now it's fine to keep warm and comfortable and well. Tea, rattles, movies, bouncy chair, good dinners, music, naps, laundry. The cycles of our winter this year, the quiet and the good.<br />
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Vid from awhile ago, off the porch:<br />
<iframe width="420" height="315" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/Dsk69ulC_PA" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-26497770620172075772012-01-13T11:57:00.000-05:002012-01-13T11:57:32.115-05:00a steady string of minutesThe minutes string together to create beautiful spider webs of days. I'm like a spider collecting whatever droplets happen to fall, first admiring their beauty, first securing the lines. Elegantly moving from one end of the house to the other, holding my baby, stepping over pets, going places but not really, just a few steps but it's my whole world, it's my home. <br />
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I live within this space every minute, meaning to go for a walk but instead keeping here, inside. Am I stuck or just staying? Maybe staying stuck, happily. Staying in with my baby in my web of a home. Paths mapped out between email and firewood, between diapers and a view out the window, between food and a quick chance to brush my hair. It's all so easy but so full - the days aren't hard (I know what to do all the time), but they're hardly days (I don't do anything).<br />
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I love it, wouldn't leave it. Despite the lack of productivity I feel satisfied. I have a beautiful baby that I can and do spend minutes just staring at, just smiling. He coos and the whole day is worthwhile, my little tangle, the knot at the centre of my universe.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JH2fQr_PSOw/TxBibCXHZrI/AAAAAAAABJw/Ifvcnw10sX4/s1600/DSCF3760.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JH2fQr_PSOw/TxBibCXHZrI/AAAAAAAABJw/Ifvcnw10sX4/s320/DSCF3760.JPG" /></a></div>Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-40623266989756644952012-01-01T17:54:00.001-05:002012-01-01T17:56:03.193-05:00A new yearGood afternoon 2012! We didn't make it to midnight last night (ha!). I fed little man around 11pm, then we all passed out, hubby too. An appropriate beginning to the new year I guess, with a priority on sleep and snuggles. We did have some good food and wine tho, and reflected happily back on the year - a baby!<br />
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A beautiful, awesome baby. 2011 was also a lovely pregnancy - I enjoyed it for the most part, and stayed well and happy. The whole thing flew by fast. As usual, always interesting to read back on last year's <a href="http://hellotrees.blogspot.com/2011/01/1111.html">NY post</a>.<br />
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The store did well, we did a big trip to visit family in the states, and lots of cottage, city, and family visits. D made a lot of music, but alas I did not. Which brings me to...<br />
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Resolutions for 2012 (such a futuristic number)... read! read! and read! Sitting with a nursing or sleeping babe for the majority of my waking hours is prime reading opportunity... must take advantage of these quiet, plentiful times. One can only type emails one-handed, read up on "baby milestones", and research never-to-be-made elaborate recipes so much. I also aim to frequent the local libraries more often and "get into" books... as in, even read about what books to read. I miss them. What's reasonable? Maybe an easy to reach goal of a book every 2 weeks? Surely that's doable. <br />
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I also want to get into making dinner again. We've been eating lots of rice and cans of <a href="http://www.jyotifoods.com/catalog/heat-and-serve-products">Jyoti</a>, bagels and cream cheese, wraps, etc. <br />
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Reading and eating. That sounds good. Oh, and exercising...... at least trying to move more often than not. Music, we'll see. Maybe music with D.<br />
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2012!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-71241687214877830062011-12-30T10:26:00.001-05:002011-12-30T10:27:16.840-05:00time flies!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s4DRbiFKIUQ/Tv3VVgVNnkI/AAAAAAAABJY/JFTXaoFl5qQ/s1600/DSCF3694.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-s4DRbiFKIUQ/Tv3VVgVNnkI/AAAAAAAABJY/JFTXaoFl5qQ/s400/DSCF3694.JPG" width="300" /></a></div>Happy holidays all!! Yep I'm still here... just got distracted :)<br />
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So much to write but am currently typing one handed with baby snoozing in the other. Just wanted to post a quick somethin' before the year ends. Because, gee... what a year. Okay I've re-situated to give me another hand to type, temporarily.<br />
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Our little man arrived on the morning of Nov 24th! He's beautiful and awesome. We hang out all day. Details soon: I want to type up his "birth story", note the ups and downs of our first month of learning how to do this mama/baby thang, and generally just blab on about how great he is and how much life has changed for the better since his arrival. Soon. Baby's stirring.<br />
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The above pic is A in a Christmas sleeper my brother B wore as a baby. Mom got a charge outta that.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-37449050831693377222011-10-19T21:57:00.000-04:002011-10-19T21:57:07.104-04:00cozy<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-296Co-LDyeM/Tp99y8ZHmGI/AAAAAAAABI0/0MGQyD1BbDw/s1600/-2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-296Co-LDyeM/Tp99y8ZHmGI/AAAAAAAABI0/0MGQyD1BbDw/s400/-2.jpg" width="400" /></a></div>Belly belly belly - it's the thing I see, feel, and think about most these days. Still time to enjoy it, I think. Baby still cozy, and I'm still relaxed having the little one with me. Only a couple more days of work. I'm getting tired of sitting all day, trying to stay focused... looking forward to replacing those efforts with organising the nest and afternoon naps.<br />
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We lit our first fire of the season this afternoon to get rid of the damp chill that's been hanging around all week (daily rain and grey 'ol days). Now it's warm, cozy, sleepy, lovely. We've also been working on making the house a little homier... pictures framed, rugs laid, shelves put up. Still lots to do but lately really realising we always have what we need (each other, health, happiness, etc) and that everything else is extra. And a baby is coming to boot - wow!<br />
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Hard to believe November is right around the corner... we're trimming store hours down for the winter, planting our garlic this weekend, putting wood on the porch, on and on and on.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-44529921469700005482011-09-16T09:17:00.000-04:002011-09-16T09:17:43.522-04:00frostyOops, we had frost last night and I didn't grab the remaining tomatoes. I think it was a light freeze tho so hopefully some will be salvageable. Hard to believe it's that time of year. The cold moves a few things that were on the back burner to the front - cleaning out the chicken coop, planting garlic, replacing the back door with a storm door, getting wood on the porch, etc.!<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BJjGIn18gBQ/TnNJQcXSITI/AAAAAAAABIs/F7DyV2X07VA/s1600/DSCF2979.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-BJjGIn18gBQ/TnNJQcXSITI/AAAAAAAABIs/F7DyV2X07VA/s400/DSCF2979.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>We've started making use of our new freezer - I grated and froze a whole bunch of scallop summer squash, along with some squash muffins and bread. Doubling recipes will likely become a new norm in these last months of preparing for baby time. <br />
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The car is officially broked so figuring out a new ride is in the works. A real hassle but it was inevitable and I suppose now is good time to deal with it. I'm lucky to have such a knowledgeable and helpful dad and brother not too far away.<br />
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Five weeks left of work. Amazing. D's finished painting the little one's room so now what's left is "just" flooring and trim. So close!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-25274018792786327032011-09-04T15:11:00.001-04:002011-09-04T15:13:20.065-04:00from the land of idling vehiclesI'm on store duty today while D finishes the last bit of dry walling around the new shelves in baby's room. Sitting here watching the endless stream of long-weekend-visiting vehicles wait their turn at the lights in our tiny town. <br />
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I just returned from a walk to the garage to pick up my car - the brakes went funny on me yesterday so I drove it to the shop last night. Today they're working so the garage wasn't able to "fix" anything. Anticipating them going weird again, and eventually a $300 fix for a new master cylinder. Also apparently front left wheel bearing needs replacing. Oh rusty '97 Malibu, how you age. Eventually a new vehicle will have to be figured out... looking like sooner rather than later. And D's car isn't too far behind needing replacing either. Cha-ching!<br />
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Most of the extra cash from the store this summer went right back into it, but I think we're starting to top off inventory-wise and can settle into just replacing stuff vs expanding. We should be mostly set till Christmas. Anticipating profit in the coming years! And a web store... hoping it's something I can work on between mat leave and baby, while waiting for the little one to arrive.<br />
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30 weeks pregnant today - the countdown feels real now, with only 10 weeks left to go (eee! aahhh!). Still much to do, but with summer winding down, there's less travel and more free-ish time to spend preparing house and home. Tho the tireds have returned and I'm pretty low energy... but things get done in tiny bubbles of moments, which I've become increasing good at capitalizing on. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B0t_gy4dnhI/TmPM1jHRWtI/AAAAAAAABIg/3c6s82g1V_g/s1600/DSCF2802.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-B0t_gy4dnhI/TmPM1jHRWtI/AAAAAAAABIg/3c6s82g1V_g/s400/DSCF2802.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>Wacky car, enduring gravel pile, and bratty puppy. <br />
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The dawgs are starting to feel a little more high maintenance, with Lune newly enjoying high-speed chases down the driveway to the road (such a scamp). Our road is mostly quiet, but the stress of it is still exhausting so we've taken to chaining her a lot of the time now. The plan is to train her to stay within the electric fencing, like Whisk. Not looking forward to that, but it will make for a happier pup and easier life. Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-18684722793697593332011-08-28T15:21:00.000-04:002011-08-28T15:21:07.322-04:00the pursuit of beautiful thingsStore duty this weekend means spending some extra time surfin' the www. Aside from stroller and car seat research (yawn), I've been on the hunt for some new interesting and inspiring blogs to add to my google reader. For obvious reasons I'm starting to add mama bloggers, tho still keeping up with a handful of small-scale farmers. Belly is growing, garden is getting more weedy. So it goes... one can only tend so many things!<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://www.mariavalles.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Untitled-2abc.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="375" src="http://www.mariavalles.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Untitled-2abc.jpg" width="500" /></a></div>*photo and handmades by my amazing sister-in-law <a href="http://mariavalles.com/">maria</a><br />
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I'm in awe of all of those out there dedicated to surrounding themselves with beauty. Creating, collecting, capturing lovely bits to eat, hold, and look at. I yearn for making the time, having the patience to dedicate to this pursuit. Making our spaces, our clothes, our food healthy, clean, and ...beautiful. There's a part of the soul that needs that. Also the ability to capture it all artfully, preserving and showcasing such warm memories and accomplishments. <br />
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Curious to see if maternity leave will somehow motivate me - the desire to fill moments with special, important things that have real life, tangible payback, without distraction from work, and a higher priority put on home-life. I'm not sure. Trouble is I have a personality that's cool with casualness and half-assed-ness. My gardens flower, but they're far from admirable. Some day? <br />
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What am I doing instead of striving for beauty? Working, lying around, looking at blogs...<br />
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Unknownnoreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-42180591422821031672011-08-12T07:49:00.000-04:002011-08-12T07:49:39.165-04:00land and coast<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fo9i6u7ZTn4/TkUS7XEIJTI/AAAAAAAABHs/Wf4gEau12Uw/s1600/DSCF2875.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-fo9i6u7ZTn4/TkUS7XEIJTI/AAAAAAAABHs/Wf4gEau12Uw/s400/DSCF2875.JPG" /></a></div>Our feet were in the beautiful Massachusetts ocean Tuesday morning, but how easy it is to settle in back at home. Back to the grind of dogs, dishes, phone calls, laundry, etc. Was nice to get away. Thought the long car rides would be tough while pregnant but they zoomed by. I gave D a tour of New Hampshire for his 36th birthday, and mom gave him the tour of Vermont. Montreal's labyrinth of highways was easily navigated, Ottawa slow but steady. A few moments book-ended at the cottage with dad, enjoying the quiet there.<br />
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The ocean is a really special, salty, soothing thing. I thought baby would kick more when I swam in it but all was still, enjoying the surf. We took the train to Boston for a day to have lunch with my cousins and explore the Fine Art Museum. Then back to the cape for more family time with lots and lots of lovely relatives. To think we'll have a baby with us next reunion is a real charge. How will we travel then? To be determined, but rooms booked for August 2012.<br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-93nuKEhbDho/TkUTOA3atYI/AAAAAAAABH0/OCJxwsPBBeM/s1600/DSCF2870.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-93nuKEhbDho/TkUTOA3atYI/AAAAAAAABH0/OCJxwsPBBeM/s400/DSCF2870.JPG" /></a></div>I thought time would feel slower on return (the prep for the trip and getting the house ready for our farm sitter was busy) but we're back and there's more ahead. Good things tho - a baby shower BBQ for the little one on Sunday in the city, and a cottage weekend after that. I think the nesting thing is starting to kick in more - there's a building urgency to prepare, make lists, read books. A desire to strip out all distractions and focus on baby. Soon time to start planning it all out: the laundering of sleepers and prefolds, making food for the freezer, car seats and stroller and crib, finishing up at work... Enjoying it tho. It's really awesome to make space and get excited about our new arrival.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-58091622378960569472011-07-16T09:40:00.003-04:002011-07-16T09:44:41.204-04:00scheduling summer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mp7Ita90Cw4/TiF2AlHQtcI/AAAAAAAABHU/_Xf1HYv26Tw/s1600/DSCF2732.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mp7Ita90Cw4/TiF2AlHQtcI/AAAAAAAABHU/_Xf1HYv26Tw/s400/DSCF2732.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>Flipping through a Vesey's catalogue on a Saturday morning with a small cup of coffee. Still have some birthday money from my mother-in-law I think I'll put toward a few new bulbs. May-haps. <br />
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Today is a garden day. D will be at the store, then off to Toronto for band practice, so I've a wide open day and night, solo (and these wide open solo times will come to an end, I'm aware, I savour). I'd also like to do some writing. Mom lent me her copy of "writing down the bones" ages ago and I just pulled it down off the shelf. See what happens. I've pulled some cookbooks out too. It's that kind of day. <br />
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Friend M has got me into lemon water - I've unearthed a clay pitcher, a wedding present from J&M, and it is my new table companion. A full lemon, some ice, some water. Summer. Summer and a bowl full of lemons.<br />
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In belly news I finally, at 23 weeks, look undeniably like a pregnant lady. It's nice. It makes me feel like smiling at everyone and I think it might make everyone smile at me. My back has been difficult to manage so I've started frequenting massage and chiropractor offices and feeling better. Of course the real answer is to swim and walk and stretch - I'm having such trouble injecting these things into my schedule. The growing belly and sore muscles make the reality of inevitable labour and birth more apparent, and that I need to better prepare for this event physically. I'm getting quite excited to meet the baby, D too. Lately we feel like it's a little boy, but I think only because we just have a boy name ready. D insulated baby's room and will paint the ceiling and dry wall next week. Getting there. We also got a new baby name book so trying to make more progress there too. <br />
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The store is busy and summery and doing well. We've hired a friend to come in two days a week. She works M/Th, closed T, I work Wed, and most of the time D works F/S/S but we flex. It's odd to have 3 full time jobs between us, on top of house work (the wood still not piled or gravel spread... so it goes) yet I still feel optimistic about it all getting done in good time. We're capable people. The "little" things, like sewing wipes and burp clothes, organising my potting station, cleaning out the chicken coop, weeding the gardens, general cleaning also need to be fit into the spare moments. But it's nice to have things to do.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-77890445353445540382011-06-19T21:07:00.001-04:002011-06-19T21:08:51.630-04:00make way<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--B0aG4CqyIU/Tfn3mwcg9QI/AAAAAAAABFQ/ZxclS5n9wzw/s1600/DSCF2677.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--B0aG4CqyIU/Tfn3mwcg9QI/AAAAAAAABFQ/ZxclS5n9wzw/s400/DSCF2677.JPG" width="400" /></a></div>New favourite garden flower is a hardy geranium called 'patricia' - a surprisingly large plant this year absolutely covered in long-blooming, dark pink flowers. The rest of the perennial garden is coming along... I think in a couple more years it could be glorious.<br />
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D's been working hard on the house whenever time allows - the small bedroom and hallway have been gutted (contents taken away by a dumpster we rented), and D's currently pulling up the old, scuffed parquet flooring. It's a slow, big job, but can already tell it's a worthwhile endeavour, good to get in before baby arrives. <br />
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There's also a load of gravel in the driveway (scored from D's work site for $50) and 4 cord of wood coming. Really have to watch the heavy lifting as it's tempting to get to work. <br />
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In other preggo news, grocery shopping has become more of a free for all than before, and it's kind of fun. One theme seems to be weird fake cheese eats (nacho cheese, kraft dinner, cheddar flavoured crackers). The nacho cheese and KD were thankfully one-timers, but sticking with the crackers. Am also super into honey nut cheerios. One day last week I ate some pickles chased with icecream and didn't realise till later how cliche I was being. Mmm.<br />
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I'm 32 this upcoming Wednesday which feels about right. Time is going quickly now. Funny to not be making time to slow time (meditation). Or physically/mentally prepping for things more... exercise, projects, reading, etc. We lost the internet for a couple days mid-reno and D and I both agreed it was kind of nice. I started reading a Charles De Lint novel mom lent me and it's a much nicer way to spend mental time than surfing the web. Speaking of which... think I'll see what happens next.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-45829038708447641612011-06-08T07:48:00.002-04:002011-06-08T08:22:16.287-04:00jet fueled<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pKW2_qaCEeQ/Te9g_o6xuOI/AAAAAAAABFI/B5-Q84nqeAo/s1600/DSCF5457.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-pKW2_qaCEeQ/Te9g_o6xuOI/AAAAAAAABFI/B5-Q84nqeAo/s400/DSCF5457.JPG" /></a></div>The reality of solo-dom disappearing soon hits me almost everyday, and in rushes a profound tender admiration for the woman I was in my 20's. Lost yes, but exploring, free to investigate, stuck, then free again, unleashed into the world. There's so much to see.<br />
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The other day a breeze hit me and I was transported back to the entrance of the Zurich art museum. Sometimes it's Spain, and a particular set of stairs in Seville. Or a bench I sat on in Edinburgh. Pizza in a small cafe in Solerno, a cheese pie in Croatia. Sometimes the train station in Paris, or the bus stop in Toulouse. A dirty sidewalk of NYC, a park in Boston, a bike ride on the beach of North Carolina's Outer Banks. Even the red sands of PEI's national park and the cobblestone of Montreal's old town. A dart of fear hits me: will I travel so freely again? <br />
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It's made me want to count my aeroplan points and devise a plan. A pregnant lady adventuring (desperately?) into an unknown, for the sake of that rush of uncertainty, something or someone new, freedom. Spending time in the beauty and wonder of the world, away from chores and work and any kind of responsibility other than finding some good food to eat and a decent place to sleep.<br />
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Travelling anywhere in summer is expensive, hot, and touristy... by fall I'll be too huge for a plane to carry me. Plus money and time that should be spent on other things, in preparation. Perhaps when I'm 60, an art class in Florence. Till then, a family and the adventure that IT is. Perhaps a family that travels.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-84114264482939217842011-05-31T20:14:00.001-04:002011-05-31T20:16:15.392-04:00one domestic eveninggg<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ip0VUWev5Fc/TdwzGQMt-mI/AAAAAAAABE8/xrqgEt3T-2Y/s1600/DSCF2616.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ip0VUWev5Fc/TdwzGQMt-mI/AAAAAAAABE8/xrqgEt3T-2Y/s400/DSCF2616.JPG" /></a></div>Long day at the office on top of a slow day at the store, home a bit after 5. Husband working late. Pet dogs, sit on porch, breath. Deadhead baskets and pots of porch flowers. Rub belly, smile. Pet dogs again, sit on porch again, breath. Strip bed, throw blankets and pillowcases in the wash, start washing breakfast dishes. Put eggs on to boil, cut up potatoes, put those on to boil. Bring chickens kitchen scraps, clean water, collect eggs. Feed dogs. Pick chives, make potato salad for my hard-working husband and put in fridge. Eat a pickle. Eat some hummus. Eat crackers, drink water. Take butter out of fridge and find a cookie recipe with hopes it'll turn out and be a gift for neighbour's birthday, and excuse to visit. Hang laundry on the line, breath. Make cookies (chewy oatmeal choc chip), bake cookies, smell cookies. Smell lilacs in vase on kitchen table. Call, bribe, chain Luna who seems to wander to the road in the evenings to chase neighbourhood walkers, joggers, rabbits. Wash potato salad and cookie dishes. Yell at barking dogs. Eat cookie... not bad. Drink water, take vitamin, enjoy breeze through windows, singing frogs. Three hours of barefoot, pregnant, domestic bliss. Blog.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-84682643107535277092011-05-15T13:08:00.000-04:002011-05-15T13:08:40.627-04:00gardening begins again<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LckKWqtWuAA/TdAFiRqsuGI/AAAAAAAABE0/QuiHo-oAV9Y/s1600/DSCF2602.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LckKWqtWuAA/TdAFiRqsuGI/AAAAAAAABE0/QuiHo-oAV9Y/s400/DSCF2602.JPG" /></a></div>It's been too long since I've written - have to not do that because I so enjoy reading back years later on the happenings of each month. Above is a photo of our deck in action: garden stuff, chairs, leftover wood, dogs. I came home the other day and Luna was chewing on Whisk's electric collar, so now we're tying it to him till we fix it - the sound of the thing warning him of the parameter is enough to keep him in. He's a timid dude. Lune's generally always chewing/destroying something... looks like a hunk of wood in pic, leaving a trail of wood shards throughout the front lawn. Messy but cute.<br />
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We split on a tiller rental with the neighbours this weekend, and D tilled up our big garden this morning, while the rain let up. So nice to have a huge spot of soil ready and waiting. Last week I planted greens, peas, beets, radishes, dill, cilantro. The garlic is up and mulched with chicken straw (the rest of the coop to be cleaned out soon and also dumped on the garden). <br />
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The flower beds are in full swing, with spring bulbs in bloom and a few other earlies brightening up the place. I went nutty at the local greenhouse yesterday and bought a flat of pansies, a flat of imaptiens, a flat of petunias... and a few other odds and ends (geraniums, potato vine, creeping charley, fushcia, million bells). I told the town flower-planning guy I'd be creating the hanging baskets for the store myself this year instead of buying from him... and the theme is "hot pink" - we'll see how I do.<br />
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Other things are growing too but more on that later...!Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-20644692449333132382011-04-13T08:08:00.003-04:002011-05-15T13:51:46.346-04:00egg shells<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_MmdnZ7Moyk/TaWP5r7MLHI/AAAAAAAABEs/Y09WqCBrEIw/s1600/DSCF2455.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_MmdnZ7Moyk/TaWP5r7MLHI/AAAAAAAABEs/Y09WqCBrEIw/s400/DSCF2455.JPG" /></a></div>Just kissed my love goodbye for the day - he's en route to roof. This boss is tight on safety tho (phew) so he'll have a harness on and I will not worry. He probably won't be home by the time I leave for the city. I've been driving in in the evenings lately, now that the evenings are brighter, and I feel more awake then. Gives me a nice start in the morning - a walk through the city's sidewalk commuters and store openers. I like that buzz time. I also arrive to the office less frazzled... less chance of my clothes being inside out and hair unbrushed.<br />
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I need to lay off the donuts. They taste so good in my mouth, but it's getting out of hand! Tho I did start up the "30 day shred" again yesterday. I'm still a thin-ish person but now that I'm 31 it's less of a given, takes some attention. I took a break from exercising but there was no need, so now I'm back on the work out train, a good thing. <br />
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Been reading lots of Buddhist-y books. The ones where they tell you to smile at the dinner table, wash the dishes joyfully, walk with intention and feeling. I like these easy reminders to be mindful. That living in the moment is right here: the coziness of my bathrobe, the satisfying click of my fingers pressing keys, the sound of my cat eating breakfast and the birds outside. Life is with you every minute.<br />
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I've always liked this quote by Dan Quisenberry, whoever he is: The future is much like the present, only longer.<br />
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Update: I wikipedia'd Dan and he's an old baseball pitcher, then poet. RIP. Apparently he pitched "submarine style" which I then proceeded to watch videos of on YouTube. Ah, 2011.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-32964739962596251412011-03-28T21:23:00.000-04:002011-03-28T21:23:53.384-04:00winding down and up<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Litv9Oka8MU/TZEtRPl4XpI/AAAAAAAABEk/ymHVLN22Yd0/s1600/DSCF2249.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="240" width="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Litv9Oka8MU/TZEtRPl4XpI/AAAAAAAABEk/ymHVLN22Yd0/s320/DSCF2249.JPG" /></a></div>Been feeling more inspired to make music than write, but not doing much of either. This extendo winter/fake out spring is sort of exhausting. Like, right down into the bones. The sun makes me want to bloom but the cold keeps me frosty and am sorta left feeling fragile. More sensitive to the cold, more sleepy, more impatient and sore. HOWEVER, spring is around the corner so just holding out, staying by the fire, snuggling. Watching the sun set at 8pm, starting seeds, ogling summer dresses, spending a few moments on the porch to hear the birds, opening the window a crack for 10 minutes of fresh, beautiful air.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-411936746189063262.post-35643449988074151292011-03-07T08:30:00.004-05:002011-03-11T16:47:25.143-05:00march monday<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ofqvMXHT47o/TXqXu0CI0SI/AAAAAAAABEY/K4lwbSGUI5g/s1600/tumblr_lhntgo4Q0v1qfc7ti-1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left:1em; margin-right:1em"><img border="0" height="300" width="400" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ofqvMXHT47o/TXqXu0CI0SI/AAAAAAAABEY/K4lwbSGUI5g/s320/tumblr_lhntgo4Q0v1qfc7ti-1.jpg" /></a></div>Weeks matter now. They feel like flags of victory, each Friday sounding the horn. A slow steady trot on Monday becomes a canter mid-week, and a full running gallop by the end. Appearance groomed, hoops jumped, ribbons won and lost. Then a weekend to sit and wonder, in awe of the coming spring and so much more.<br />
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Photo by <a href="http://damianvalles.tumblr.com/">my husband</a>, capturing the nice light last night after yet another dump of snow. March, what's up? You flood us then you freeze us! I see warmer temps in the coming forecast tho...Unknownnoreply@blogger.com1