moving

it's just so beautiful. i feel like i'm living in a painting. the roofers should be done tomorrow, then d and i are off to meaford friday morning to collect the uhaul and move all our furniture home! for work this week, my imac is balanced on a tray table and i'm sitting in a folding chair. furniture will make the place feel so much more ours, and so much more homey. the back rooms and hallways still need to be painted but it's getting there.

a few more days

have made a list of things for the first couple of weeks. as with the empty upstairs apartment we stayed in for a bit last month in toronto, we'll be packing the folding tray tables and my mom's folding chair (still bearing her maiden name in marker). also: the vacuum, mop, buckets, boots, inflatable mattress, paint clothes, kitchen stuff, towels, and so on. it will be a good way to start - a real, explicit beginning. we'll move the rest of our stuff in a couple weeks, after the fixin's.

received an email from the seller this morning (a sincerely lovely chap) saying he's going to leave a bunch of gardening tools (shovel, wheelbarrow, etc) for us. the number of times i've said "score!" throughout this process is really... awesome. not sure i've mentioned yet the last home-visit's discovery: a closet fashioned with florescent lights on each shelf for seedling-growing. score!

it is POURING as i write this - the sky is dark and the air is humid. it's a solid, summer rain. d is painting a house today (more like a mansion). after the carpentry job in toronto told him the cottage contracts up north would be delayed another month, he decided to come back to meaford and find side work until we move to kawarthas, then find something more permanent there. fingers crossed. he just called me to say he's waiting out the storm in his car.

here's a pic of perry chillin on the porch off my office. you can see my 'garden' - many anxiously awaiting a roomier space in the ground. soon babes!

field of dreams

this will soon be my view, looking south from the house, across pasture. anxious to tend the grasses and flowers, plant things, walk it. dreaming of a field of lavender, garlic planting in the fall, poppies...

phew

tea warming my hands but the only chill i'm easing is that of fresh air on my skin. the cold city is behind me now, south and east two and half hours. i could narrate the comedy of my move (antics of uhaul, pile 'o stuff that ensued, a late night journey and unpacking) but instead i'll type forward, looking back only to acknowledge and appreciate the steady love and helpfulness from boy, bro, and pal. couldn't have done it without 'em. and of course there was a visit to the folks on the same day, for a couple of days, that allowed me to rest, refuel, and borrow some wheels. i watched gardening and home renovation shows, a sign of the age and place i'm at. the five hour drive to meaford (i.e. home) was rainy but i felt sunny.

listening to the crows sing along with cbc as i blink at my code, the latest svn checkout of the sign language project. technically i am 'at work' and therefore, working...

i hear a cardinal too, which is reassuring. i was particularly fond of, and frequently cheered by, a red cardinal that lived in my toronto backyard. but sounds like he's got friends up here.

so long

beer bottles, wine bottles, uninteresting books, unflattering clothes, cobwebs, crumbs, filth in general, freezer burned vegetables, barely used condiments, cans with expiry dates of years past, more plastic bags, rubber bands, and twist-ties than ever needed, bills from 2006, dentist appointment reminders from 2007, take out menus for places i've never heard of, phone numbers i've never called, candidates i've never voted for, upstairs neighbours, landlord, old people who complain about my weeds, bathurst's ugliness, bloor street's trash, streetcars screeching, sirens, the smell of exhaust... adios!

moving away

had a wave of mutil... hesitation wash over me a few days ago. it happened while i was standing on the 4th floor of the four seasons centre for the performing arts (like in this image from their site), watching a ballet performance be workshopped. the beautiful dancers, the building, the strangers... looking out over a busy queen st. i felt really in love with the city. all of its possibilities, all the potentials of myself i could find here if i chose to explore them, the people i could meet and know and love, the importance and excitement of it all... and how i'm leaving it. it shook me and i let myself feel doubt for the first time in awhile. what am i doing? my life here is perfectly set up and great here - why am i going? there are still classes i could take, places to see, people to meet, things to explore... i smoothed myself over with the assurance that this was a temporary feeling, and reminded myself of the frustrations that coincide with living here. besides, perhaps i'll find similar inspirations out of the city too?

--

today was a slotted gym night but got distracted by my wicked stir-fry (2 plates) and a bottle of chardonnay. for 30 seconds i think, "i'll go tomorrow before work!" before acknowledging the very low probability of this. tomorrow after work then. i'm hoping i can find yoga or pick up volleyball or a highschool weight room in meaford and also in future new hometown. tho i will have the outdoors.

dad called with great news about my car situation. i find it amusing and kind of awesome how my family can make plans for me and i'm the last to know. fine by me. dad figures i have too many balls in the air at once so he's offered to lend me his car till the fall. he uses his truck in the spring/summer so it'd be mostly parked anyway. thoughtful papa. i'll have to put new tires on it but since my bro's got garage connections, i'll get a deal and he can put them on for me. team (surname)! come fall i'll buy something of my own, possibly mom's car, but will deal with that when the time comes.

two more weeks till the big move. need more boxes.

sunday

d was up early this morning to drive home before the weather warnings came true. while he showered i packed up some more boxes - house plants and a small watering can at d's request (think he's nervous about killing stuff before i get up there), books (made sure erotica, "etc" made it in - might weird mom out when she helps pack? maybe not but won't risk it), art, vases, tennis rackets, cds... already feels so much barer. and real. i'm totally moving out. d's car-full is a fraction of what will happen on moving day a month from now. man, i remember the days a car-full was all my stuff.

feeling sort of low energy and sucky but am going to allow myself a day of rest and low expectations. sometimes ya gotta. queue "the wire"...