land and coast

Our feet were in the beautiful Massachusetts ocean Tuesday morning, but how easy it is to settle in back at home. Back to the grind of dogs, dishes, phone calls, laundry, etc. Was nice to get away. Thought the long car rides would be tough while pregnant but they zoomed by. I gave D a tour of New Hampshire for his 36th birthday, and mom gave him the tour of Vermont. Montreal's labyrinth of highways was easily navigated, Ottawa slow but steady. A few moments book-ended at the cottage with dad, enjoying the quiet there.

The ocean is a really special, salty, soothing thing. I thought baby would kick more when I swam in it but all was still, enjoying the surf. We took the train to Boston for a day to have lunch with my cousins and explore the Fine Art Museum. Then back to the cape for more family time with lots and lots of lovely relatives. To think we'll have a baby with us next reunion is a real charge. How will we travel then? To be determined, but rooms booked for August 2012.

I thought time would feel slower on return (the prep for the trip and getting the house ready for our farm sitter was busy) but we're back and there's more ahead. Good things tho - a baby shower BBQ for the little one on Sunday in the city, and a cottage weekend after that. I think the nesting thing is starting to kick in more - there's a building urgency to prepare, make lists, read books. A desire to strip out all distractions and focus on baby. Soon time to start planning it all out: the laundering of sleepers and prefolds, making food for the freezer, car seats and stroller and crib, finishing up at work... Enjoying it tho. It's really awesome to make space and get excited about our new arrival.

jet fueled

The reality of solo-dom disappearing soon hits me almost everyday, and in rushes a profound tender admiration for the woman I was in my 20's. Lost yes, but exploring, free to investigate, stuck, then free again, unleashed into the world. There's so much to see.

The other day a breeze hit me and I was transported back to the entrance of the Zurich art museum. Sometimes it's Spain, and a particular set of stairs in Seville. Or a bench I sat on in Edinburgh. Pizza in a small cafe in Solerno, a cheese pie in Croatia. Sometimes the train station in Paris, or the bus stop in Toulouse. A dirty sidewalk of NYC, a park in Boston, a bike ride on the beach of North Carolina's Outer Banks. Even the red sands of PEI's national park and the cobblestone of Montreal's old town. A dart of fear hits me: will I travel so freely again?

It's made me want to count my aeroplan points and devise a plan. A pregnant lady adventuring (desperately?) into an unknown, for the sake of that rush of uncertainty, something or someone new, freedom. Spending time in the beauty and wonder of the world, away from chores and work and any kind of responsibility other than finding some good food to eat and a decent place to sleep.

Travelling anywhere in summer is expensive, hot, and touristy... by fall I'll be too huge for a plane to carry me. Plus money and time that should be spent on other things, in preparation. Perhaps when I'm 60, an art class in Florence. Till then, a family and the adventure that IT is. Perhaps a family that travels.

jiggity jig

hello trees.

Trees, I missed you, but it was cool to be in a land without you for awhile. A lunar landscape here on earth, with volcanoes and glaciers and deep pools of boiling water and snow. Long open spaces of mossed-covered lava rock, then around the corner to majestic snow capped mountains, then a narrow road along the length of a fjord, then endless grassy fields full of beautiful Icelandic horses and sheep, then a jagged rock face, the edge of a tectonic plate. It can change a person, and apparently always does. M (lovely to have a sister now) was the loveliest tour guide, showing us the city (Reykjavik), the south, and the west. A summer house with a hot tub and northern lights, blue lagoon, air waves festival, fabulous restaurants and cafes and bars. Memorable weeks and great honeymoon.

I resisted buying a "Where's Bjork?" t-shirt at the tourist shop.

I'm now at home watching Luna fall asleep while chewing my birkenstocks, happily gnawing, eyes half closed. Mo's sitting above her, curious. Whisk is asleep across the room. Sometimes I think we have three too many pets, but usually not. They are sweet to come home to.

Trees, it's good to see you again. I like hearing leaves in the wind, sitting by a fireplace, and feeling protected in a forest. It's so nice.

Back to reality. The laundry needs doing, the garden pulled & garlic planted, the work of a 9 to 5 job again. But now with new and amazing memories to be inspired, energized, and soothed by. Definitely need to knit again.

heat before the chill

Been programming all weekend... the work is endless. Store has quietened down with the tourists gone and we're considering our options for the off-season. Maybe close down a little more during the week and fill it with less engaging, more profitable work until spring come.

We're gonna get lots and lots of seeds. Organic, open-pollinated. Lovely seed displays from lovely places.

Till then...

My back won't move much this week, unless to pick up a puppy. She and Whisk have learned how to coexist, possibly even enjoy each other's company. Learning that adding a small animal to a mix of small animals increases the rambunctiousness of a household exponentially. Our mornings are frenzied happiness.

Got a dehumidifier for the basement. 70% and lowering.

I've started letting the chickens out of the coop in the late afternoons, while Whiskey sleeps. The sun is back there then and they enjoy the grass and bugs.

Did I mention I drove the tractor? It was scary. Also, got rid of 3 roosters and picked up 2 new hens... so we've a rooster and 4 hens. "Awesome chicken" is laying an egg a day. She's a Red Shaver.

Iceland in just over a week. Sweet sweet honeymoon, finally. I need a vacation like I've not needed a vacation before. Just feel like I'm always working and desperately need to unplug. Need to move my body, walk around, bend, see things. Maybe even dance. Swim. Experience the chilly, geothermal lifestyle.

Then home to hibernate... and plan. Projects will include debt management, bathroom reno, kitchen island, and hopefully more.

oceans & skies

Lately when I breathe, I imagine the ocean. I imagine each breath as a wave: the rushing sound, the salty vapour, the peaceful way it reaches the shore and then retreats. It slows and calms and brings me to quiet memories.

For some the ocean is a daily sight, but for me it has only been visited in my travels. I've seen so many shores, I can think of many of them now, in the many countries I've been to. Each one is different depending on the day, the hour, but there is always that constant never-ending movement and deep quiet. In and out, breathing. Its grandeur similar to looking at a night sky full of stars. Overwhelmingly large, prehistoric, ever-present. Something to make you feel small, but also alive and present.

The other night I put the puppy out to pee before bed and was caught by the night's windless silence and profound starry sky. Uncomfortable and soothing at the same time. I spent a few moments, then went back in. My micro world of human coziness, watched over by the world at large.

Self-portrait in Cadiz, Spain. Travelling solo for three weeks in March 2006.

swizzerland

Haven't found enough time to properly write, but I'm in Zurich and it's beautiful. Spent a couple of days in St. Gallen as well, also beautiful. Land of cheese & chocolate, I've been eating well, walking lots, and now, working hard. More soon.

fields and roads

Could be one of our coldest Julys, but I don't mind. Less swimming and shorts-wearing, but comfortable days and nights, happy kale. The summer is flying by! Our weekends are often busy - one of us in the city or we're visiting with friends and family. Next week, after a night in Toronto, I'll be driving north to my folks and then driving with mom to Massachusetts for a family reunion. Then Toronto again after that to record in the studio with the band. A total of almost 2 weeks away... great things, but wew!

These frequent stints away make me wonder about the possibility of having more animals on the farm. Chickens and goats being the current fascination/topics of research. Let myself splurge a little on books: "Chickens in Your Backyard: A Beginner's Guide", Rick Luttmann; "You Can Farm: The Entrepreneur's Guide to Start and Succeed in a Farm Enterprise", Joel Salatin; "Storey's Guide to Raising Dairy Goats: Breeds, Care, Dairying." I'll just be hanging on the beaches of Gloucester reading about milking goats. Sounds about right.

The earwigs have been bad this year. They are everywhere and totally freaky looking. Getting tired of squishing them! NAST.

What else? Ah yes, we've got horseshoe pits going finally. Think we'll have a round with the neighbours on Friday. Garlic soon ready to pull. It's smallish, but surely tasty. We'll prob be saving a large part of it for replanting this fall, keeping a lot for ourselves, and selling the rest cheaply to friends. It's been so easy to grow - perhaps we'll try planting even more this year. D talks about how it'll keep the vampires away - he's on a 'True Blood' (HBO show) kick lately.

when a month is a year

Rain falling, all week, from the sky. Just falling or sometimes with the wind, and then pounding against windows and roof. In the pauses I go out to smell the air, check the mail, pull the weeds. Briefly existing in the drenched outdoor world before going back in to make tea. Tho through windows, still bird song, drops falling from trees, the smell. Pets inside with noses tucked under paws. Sweaters and socks for me.

June was quiet for writing but deserves a few more words. July 1st, hold on a sec!

Number one is the garden failed (dang!), but in a way to teach me things. Snow and frost the first week of June killed many seedlings, mainly my tomato patch. Replanted, and a week later ravaged by animals (deer I think), nibbling the tops off everything. Those plants unaffected instead eaten entirely, and surprisingly quickly, by bugs. Also, Toronto commitments, bad weather, general exhaustion... things were put off, unwatered, unplanted. Oh yeah, and the tiller died. Strike one for year one but am not put off by it as things can only go up from here. Next year, soil will be ready, a fence built, and more frequent checking for bugs, surely. Also lessons in patience, dedication, timing... basically, things that had to happen now in order for the endeavor of growing our own food to move forward. And I should quantify 'fail' - we are still eating some stuff! Just not to the capacity I thought we would. Fresh herbs, green onions, garlic scapes, lettuces, kale... yum.

Also, I turned 30! It is a comfortable age. The birthday panics of my 20's absent this time around. Instead, infused with the feeling experienced in even earlier years; the milestone of knowing that life will become even more exciting, rich, enlightening, and inspiring from here on in. (hey, I learned a lot in my 20's, but most importantly, the importance of optimism). D & I were going to celebrate with a camping trip but with the rain that weekend, we instead went up to Minden and spent Saturday night in a little inn called the Dominion Hotel. Good food, good beer, CAKE, and turns out Minden is a neat little place to hang out. My actual birthday was spent in the city (work conference) but I managed to steal away the night of for beers at the Victory with friends, including long-lost girlfriends from highschool. Thirty rules.

June also included... a cottage visit, blessings from a priest, friends at the farm, a cat that came home (not raj - that would've been crazy! mo was lost for a day), a nice new bathrobe, a swim in cameron lake, a band practice in the basement, and other summery things.

Ok July, it's all yours.

merrily may

Back home...
And spring has arrived!
Lovin' it. Despite laziness, travel, a broken tiller (my fault trying to be handy with the recoil starter. oops), four stitches and a tetanus shot (from washing dishes of all things), I've finally got some seeds in the ground! Radishes, lettuces, spinach, arugula, peas, carrots, beets, and onions are now ready to rock. Soon I'll transplant broccoli, cauliflower, and kale...

While I was away in san fran, D kept almost everything alive ♥ (didn't really need that german thyme anyway), so my small army of seedlings are still happily growing inside, awaiting warmer weather.

San Francisco was lovely. Tho mostly kept busy with work, I managed to get out a see a few things:

Lookout tower at de Young Museum (self-portrait w timer)
Sea Lions!
Redwoods!
I also rode the cable car. Twice.
This was my first time travelling like a grown up (i.e nice hotel, work), and I really enjoyed it, but always so good to be home.