:)

When the heart is full, the words are few.

cows, baby, biz

Last night while we were watching a movie, Farmer D came by to drop off gifts: veggies for me the vegetarian, and a box of frozen meat goods for the hubs. Also, some cash. It's a nice transaction, to gets some local eats, a nice chat with a well-knowledged (and willing to share) farmer, and a little dough, for looking after majestic cow creatures. Cows are special, even tho they're doomed. They came over from the next farm (extremely dry summer so looking for grass, and able to cross the usually uncrossable marshland) and are staying to eat at our place. There's over 25, half babies. It's lovely and the farm feels farmy now.

I thought this year would be THEE year of hyper-documentation, with the baby and all he does. Also because I'm "not working"... but... time is so precious and all that. A's naptimes are well-spent. Also, living in the moment - everything is always happening now and I have willingly let myself become immersed in that. As a result, I'm the happiest I think I've ever been!

But in the spirit of baby news... A's 8 months now and continuously astounding and beautiful. He seems to be a "late bloomer" with things like sitting and crawling and feeding himself but am confident that will all come, of course, and just watching him grow at his own pace.

He's getting a little more hammy/goofy... sometimes making himself laugh. He also seems to be newly exploring the emotion "anger", waking up early in the morn seemingly pissed off - aggressively foot-thumping and baby-yelling. Though other mornings a peek in the crib yields a smile from the sweetest little cherub of a lad. I honestly can't think of any complaints with Arch - the kid's a gem. He sleeps wonderfully and plays solo happily and rarely cries.

The house is still a construction zone: pails under the kitchen sink, missing drywall, door-less closets, piles of flooring stacked, tools everywhere... all made tolerable by the thought of a nicer home in the end.

Prepping for an online store for our store - it's overdue. We have high hopes for it though will be pleased with anything. Speaking of which, time to get back at it. It's nice to code again. I like PHP.

a whole lot of nothing

Dad sent me a comic strip, many years ago, when I was kinda down in the dumps. It's on my bulletin board now and makes me smile. It's a picture of a bumblebee thinking, "Hmm, what's on my list to-do today?"...... "JUST BEE" ..... "bzzz....♥". This is basically my life on maternity leave. A whole lot of nothin but happily being and buzzin.

The Arch man is becoming quite the little lad... he's LOVELY. So gentle and happy and clever. This kid has made my life wondrous and I am thankful every day. 7 1/2 months already! Here he is with his aunt:

Other things on the go:

• IKEA Kitchen planner
• Chasing runaway dogs
• Feeling depressed about my fried garden and then saying "oh well"
• Manual removal of milkweed
• Looking out the window at a large pile of wood
• Being surrounded by home renovation materials
• Looking at commercial properties for sale and dreaming
• Celebrating 2 years married to a hilarious and lovable man
• Trying not to think about going back to work
• Writing a short story for a magazine contest
• Store orders

 Bzzzzz.... ♥

artist mother

I have all this time and all these ideas. How to sew the two together is still being worked out. I used to have nothing but time, in my early 20's, and even more ideas, and I did well to work them... I would stay up late with a typewriter wearing a nightgown and a toque, smoking cigarettes. It was a weird time but I was really productive, and I look back on some of my poetry, sketches, and writings and think "shit, that was good stuff"... and then feel a little nostalgic, tho I'd never go back.

I'm reading Patti Smith's memoir "just kids" and it's got me in a certain state of mind, like I'm reliving my own past in the background. Back when lofty ideas of artistry and the making of things were real and happening. Back when all the kids around me were doing the same thing. I lived in a house with artists and a rainbow coloured staircase in Baldwin village.

Life is better now but I want to get back to making artistic use of my time. Even if it doesn't mean anything to the outside world, it's good for me. I used to make music but now I don't care for it so much. I'd rather write. Or make videos. Or take photographs. Or I dunno. Anything. I still have many months before going back to work, and Archer is usually accommodating to whatever, so it's just the doing part. What to do and when. Hopefully soon it will amount to more than just drinking too much coffee and writing about how things used to be.

3am

The song "3am" by pal Jim Guthrie is in my head a lot these days, especially at... 3am. Arch is waking up roughly every 3hrs at night still, which is fine... but looking forward to a longer stretch of sleep in the coming months (fingers crossed). He's usually pretty good to eat and go back to sleep but last night at 1am he was lying in his cradle laughing and laughing - tiring and adorable.

It's been sunny winter days these days. Sunshine is the best. All I think about now when I stare out the window is gardening - I'll have so much time to garden this spring and summer, being on maternity leave, and I just want to grow so much food for us. We also have a freezer now and A will be eating food food so... lots of motivation behind me. D and I also always talk about wanting to eat more raw food... while we sip on coffee and boil eggs.

We sell organic seeds at our store so I'll have lots to choose from for my own garden. I've already started some flowers and herbs, and will continue to start seeds from now until spring. SPRING! Gotta go.

p.s. Got my bro to shoot our chickens... gulp. They were old, not laying too much, and requiring too much effort right now. Thinking we'll get a bunch of chicks in the spring tho.