Thursday, March 13, 2008

moving away

had a wave of mutil... hesitation wash over me a few days ago. it happened while i was standing on the 4th floor of the four seasons centre for the performing arts (like in this image from their site), watching a ballet performance be workshopped. the beautiful dancers, the building, the strangers... looking out over a busy queen st. i felt really in love with the city. all of its possibilities, all the potentials of myself i could find here if i chose to explore them, the people i could meet and know and love, the importance and excitement of it all... and how i'm leaving it. it shook me and i let myself feel doubt for the first time in awhile. what am i doing? my life here is perfectly set up and great here - why am i going? there are still classes i could take, places to see, people to meet, things to explore... i smoothed myself over with the assurance that this was a temporary feeling, and reminded myself of the frustrations that coincide with living here. besides, perhaps i'll find similar inspirations out of the city too?


today was a slotted gym night but got distracted by my wicked stir-fry (2 plates) and a bottle of chardonnay. for 30 seconds i think, "i'll go tomorrow before work!" before acknowledging the very low probability of this. tomorrow after work then. i'm hoping i can find yoga or pick up volleyball or a highschool weight room in meaford and also in future new hometown. tho i will have the outdoors.

dad called with great news about my car situation. i find it amusing and kind of awesome how my family can make plans for me and i'm the last to know. fine by me. dad figures i have too many balls in the air at once so he's offered to lend me his car till the fall. he uses his truck in the spring/summer so it'd be mostly parked anyway. thoughtful papa. i'll have to put new tires on it but since my bro's got garage connections, i'll get a deal and he can put them on for me. team (surname)! come fall i'll buy something of my own, possibly mom's car, but will deal with that when the time comes.

two more weeks till the big move. need more boxes.

1 comment:

Hit Pay Dirt said...

if you're at all like me, your fears about leaving the city will abandon you quickly. i'm a small-town girl now after spending a decade in the hustle and bustle of big cities. the only time i miss citylife is when i return to it. i remember all the things that i loved about cities. my longing lasts less than a few hours though. usually just enough time to do what i returned to do.

good luck with the move and with the blog!