weathering

There's a weather vane on top of our chimney and on windy, cold days, it creaks. I can hear the strange metallic moan through the fireplace, but the sound is good. As always, the reminders of nature's presence/force/uncontrollable-ness are soothing to me, and living on 65 acres let's me tune into this feeling every day. I would say it is a spiritual feeling, in that I feel accompanied by what surrounds me, and it calms my own spirit.

It also reminds me to let go and enjoy what is. No matter what I decide to do about -insert thing that's on my mind-, the wind still blows, the sun still shines, the night will still turn to a new day. I find this hugely obvious observation immensely comforting and grounding.

D finished the store displays last night, and we set things up in anticipation for today's santa parade crowds. Tho most are out and about to enjoy Christmas cheer and not really shop, I think the displays are an excellent addition to the store in general, and have really added some practical retail spice.


Speaking of the store, I'm going to finish up the curry D made this morning for our lunches and get back to work on our online shop.

here and there

It is great to live someplace beautiful. Every day I sit at my desk and look out at a beautiful scene. Today, a winter wonderland: peeping birds, a patrolling dog, snow-filled fields, trees, clouds. Yesterday I looked out the office window and saw 15-20 wild turkeys eating seed off the ground, under the feeders. Surreal! They spooked too soon before I could get a picture. Hope they'll be back - what a quirky bunch.

We're at the tail-end of a snowstorm - D's home from work due to the weather. He brought me coffee in bed and read aloud Wikipedia info about Myanmar/Burma, Ango-Burmans, Aung San, and so on. D's folks are from Burma (hi Char!) and it's interesting to hear about the changes that were happening there/then. We're off to Owen Sound this weekend to visit them and cousins... looking forward. We'll also be meeting with our wedding caterer on Sunday. Mmmm.

I'm having another geriatric day - my back went out yesterday. Hobbling around.

deer-like

I've really been feeling 30 lately. Gone are the days of full day computing with no pain while still maintaining a lovely lean physique. This software developer is quickly fading into a puddle of BLAHHH. My sore back wakes me in the night, my lungs are easily winded by tiny hills, and my body pops, cracks, and creaks when I reach for things. So new motto for 2010:

MOVE IT OR LOSE IT!

Cos in all my wisdom, there is no denying - it will only get worse from here.

Yesterday I wrote out a little workout, aided by the ford fitness models on youtube of all things. It's a quick, effective little routine that should get my arms, shoulders, core, butt, and legs all toned up. Just two days in and my back is complaining a touch less. D can also enjoy the fact that I'm finally using the dumbells he got me LAST Christmas that have been collecting dust since.

I also bought a skipping rope this morning at Canadian Tire. Accidentally wacked Whisk in the face cos he thought it was playing but he'll learn, as will I.

Next on the list of things to do... get new glasses.

inside the living land

A walk in our bush on the long weekend - beautiful. Wish we could go further and further in without the risk of getting lost (need compass) or being confronted by a bear (need bear-bells? pepper spray?). The feeling of being a guest, a foreigner, a stranger in the unknown depths of trees and trees and fields and trees and trees and stone fences and trees and trees and trees and swamp land... haunting, yet alluring. Like a dream. And it is interesting to me that as captivating as the forest is, we spend so little time in it, have explored so few acres of it.

I've no doubt the issue is perceived safety, but I also know this is mostly fueled by ignorance. I grew up in the fields and bush and creeks of Killaloe (mom called us to dinner with a cow bell), but that was many years ago, and traveling/city streets have instilled in me that 'needing to know' hyper-awareness of one's surroundings, for actual safety. I am sure here the animals will leave me be, for the most part, and the branches will stay put high in the rafters of the forest ceiling, for the most part, but there is never assurance. There is a lot going on in these depths I have yet to understand and trust to know my place in. So instead I respect my unknowing, and leave the acres of trees and trees and animals unscouted. I will learn and wander more as our years together let us grow accustomed. Despite officially being the owner of this land, I know it is not mine.

walks

Have started getting Whisk to take me for walks. Our road is quiet and beautiful so we just go to the rich people's place and back, up the road a ways. For some reason the ditch across from their farm is his choice bathroom stop and that amuses me a little. Sometimes neighbour C, an older happy chatty chap, is out and we gossip a little about the other neighbours and trade our own personal tid-bits of info. I like it so much he's made my Christmas card list.

With 'Cedar Tree' road not too far away, it's no surprise that our road is lined with... cedars. Thick, dense hedges that, when walking alone in silence, feel large and haunting but in a protective way. You can sense that despite the quiets, there is a lot going on in the depths, little rabbit and mouse tracks criss-crossing the snow beneath the trees. It is the same sensation of unknown savage activity that has kept us from exploring our own bush (about 50 acres) tho now that the bears are sleeping, am feeling more brave. Our last attempt at walking the trail along the north side was thwarted by steaming piles of bear poop. Despite walking with our friends and two dogs, we took it as a reasonable warning. The thought of getting cut off along the trail behind us by a large black beast was too spooky to ignore so we headed back right away.

Another nice walk is the Victoria rail trail in Fenelon. D and I (and the dawg of course) walked an hour or more on it last Sunday morning. It's a cushy hike, meeting many a post-church-walking senior, but you get to ogle the huge lovely cottages that line the trail and Cameron lake. We saw a Shih Tzu in an army jacket and three ATVs. Then we were both like, "we need some ATVs!"

nature

Around 7am, a beautiful coyote WOLF paused on the side of the hill beside our house, not far from where I stood on the porch, trying to figure out what the dog was barking at. So majestic, magical... it stared awhile then ran to the tree line and eventually into the woods.

After voting Tuesday night, driving down our road, two big slow beavers slid across the road from the marsh. So cute and so fat.

And last week, coming home from Toronto, a bear! Looking like a night-time shadow beside the car, then moving in front and running ahead of me along the road till dipping back into the dark on the other side... only a short ways from our driveway. Sprinted to the front door to tell D.

Not to mention hundreds and hundreds of Canadian Geese, who's squawks echo and echo. Oh, and deer.

cedar land

walking the fields and forest, i think about the concept of ownership. this is my land, these are my trees, these cedars, some of them hundreds of years old, most of them at least much much older than i - i bought them. as factual as this statement may be, i have trouble comprehending it. regardless of any deed, this land is a host to me and my relatively brief stay here. i want to treat it well and live in harmony with it's peace, beauty, and wisdom, convinced that if the land is happy, we'll be happy too.

in this vein, i've been weighing the thought of getting some logs cut. my pops is adamantly against any sort of cutting, stating "the value of the land is in the bush itself" and uncut forest is more valuable. but i think that his fear is immersed in images of a clear-cut wasteland. there are arborists that do selective cutting and this could in fact make a forest healthier, allowing trees to get bigger with the additional space. it is also possible to experiment this theory on a small piece of land as we have probably 55 acres of it (the seller had said 45 acres of bush and 20 acres of field but the field is definitely not that large - perhaps 10). there is also an access road along the north side, so we could potentially send loggers to the far edges where we wouldn't see any of the results. the money we could get from the larger logs would help ease a small part of our debt too.

but is this right?

friends

constant cricket song, happy pet sighs, bird twitters and tweets, bug bumps against the windows, rooster crows.

elvis doesn't come by anymore as the neighbours have started to chain him during the day. makes sense tho - as you can see in this photo there's a missing patch of hair on his leg. apparently dogs will lick and chew like this to relieve stress. last time i saw him it'd grown back. less confused about where his home is but we miss him!

robin

a big fat robin has puffed up it's red breast, i'm guessing as a response to the chill in the air the past few days, and is pruning on the railing of the back porch beside my office. i like that i can sit here and work, glance to my right through the patio door, and see such a small and lovely bit of nature.

i've been writing less here than am willing and able to. might be because i program all day and to spend extra time in front of the computer for non-work stuff has become less attractive. in the city, sitting here gave me peace and calm, a respite from the busy streets. but now that the world outside has become... peaceful and calm, it no longer serves that great purpose and i'm instead a little anxious to finish my hours for the day and do something else. not even anything grand - the dishes, repotting tomato seedlings, petting the dog. i imagine more will come with time like recording songs, writing, making little films... tho darn, those are all in front of the computer too!

the robin flew away for awhile, mid-post, but now he's back, puffing and pruning. i want to name him. is big red too unoriginal?

phew

tea warming my hands but the only chill i'm easing is that of fresh air on my skin. the cold city is behind me now, south and east two and half hours. i could narrate the comedy of my move (antics of uhaul, pile 'o stuff that ensued, a late night journey and unpacking) but instead i'll type forward, looking back only to acknowledge and appreciate the steady love and helpfulness from boy, bro, and pal. couldn't have done it without 'em. and of course there was a visit to the folks on the same day, for a couple of days, that allowed me to rest, refuel, and borrow some wheels. i watched gardening and home renovation shows, a sign of the age and place i'm at. the five hour drive to meaford (i.e. home) was rainy but i felt sunny.

listening to the crows sing along with cbc as i blink at my code, the latest svn checkout of the sign language project. technically i am 'at work' and therefore, working...

i hear a cardinal too, which is reassuring. i was particularly fond of, and frequently cheered by, a red cardinal that lived in my toronto backyard. but sounds like he's got friends up here.

spring spaces

a warm and breezy day with a beam of sunlight on the forehead, small clicks of clothespins, bird song, swishing of grass and leaves. i yearn for such peacefulness spent in simple country. the smells and quiet sounds, the feeling of nature on my skin.... soon!!

here it is a gift to catch the modest scent of spring as it can dim in a city minute. earth and rain a reminder of... earth and rain. and family, childhood, essence of self. always with a smile.

--

my seeds arrived today but for now all i can really do is put a rubber band around them and pack the stash someplace safe. maybe i'll make a list of seeds to plant as soon as i land in at the new home, to satisfy the 'gotta do some gardening stuff' itch. and maybe d and i can design a light/seedling starter shelf thing to build this weekend when he comes to visit.

i took some photos of my office today, with the thought of posting before/after office space pics once the after part happens. won't miss the beige mess of cubicle walls and florescent lighting tho, to be honest, it doesn't completely phase me; the laughter of my coworkers and large neighbouring window are what make the place alive. i'll miss that but will gain a more comfortable office space of my own, fresh cut flowers, hardwood floors, singing aloud to music, and nearby canine friendship.