Friday, March 02, 2012

artist mother

I have all this time and all these ideas. How to sew the two together is still being worked out. I used to have nothing but time, in my early 20's, and even more ideas, and I did well to work them... I would stay up late with a typewriter wearing a nightgown and a toque, smoking cigarettes. It was a weird time but I was really productive, and I look back on some of my poetry, sketches, and writings and think "shit, that was good stuff"... and then feel a little nostalgic, tho I'd never go back.

I'm reading Patti Smith's memoir "just kids" and it's got me in a certain state of mind, like I'm reliving my own past in the background. Back when lofty ideas of artistry and the making of things were real and happening. Back when all the kids around me were doing the same thing. I lived in a house with artists and a rainbow coloured staircase in Baldwin village.

Life is better now but I want to get back to making artistic use of my time. Even if it doesn't mean anything to the outside world, it's good for me. I used to make music but now I don't care for it so much. I'd rather write. Or make videos. Or take photographs. Or I dunno. Anything. I still have many months before going back to work, and Archer is usually accommodating to whatever, so it's just the doing part. What to do and when. Hopefully soon it will amount to more than just drinking too much coffee and writing about how things used to be.

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