so long

beer bottles, wine bottles, uninteresting books, unflattering clothes, cobwebs, crumbs, filth in general, freezer burned vegetables, barely used condiments, cans with expiry dates of years past, more plastic bags, rubber bands, and twist-ties than ever needed, bills from 2006, dentist appointment reminders from 2007, take out menus for places i've never heard of, phone numbers i've never called, candidates i've never voted for, upstairs neighbours, landlord, old people who complain about my weeds, bathurst's ugliness, bloor street's trash, streetcars screeching, sirens, the smell of exhaust... adios!

caught up in

it is my last week at work, as in physically working at my desk, and i am glad. had a 1.5hr meeting with a coworker today about a new project - an online web service for captioning videos. it will be a lot of work and i will have to learn all sorts of new things about ajax, webkit, quicktime, flash, server platforms, etc. the man i'm programming for is very hard of hearing (two hearing aids and lip reading) so coming into the office once a week is more important now as phone calls won't do. i'm looking forward to the work. as well, i'll be continuing on with a project that makes signlanguage flash objects that mimic web pages so you can make say, ASL-only websites without having to resort to english. of course, a result of working with funded projects in a research-based environment is that there is a lot of theoretical stuff that may or may not work out as stated in the grant proposals... so fingers crossed and being creative. also, lots of reading - how are other people doing it? can we partner with them? are there other technologies we can use that no one's tried yet? etc.

d and i had a lazy easter weekend, including a fantastic dinner at our friends' house followed by lots of beer and euchre. we have been shaking our heads at the fact that he has found a carpentry job for may where he'll be working on a toronto project. so it's possible he'll have to be in the city during the week, shortly after i move up there. silly. but it's good pay and hopefully the work will move closer to the cottagey areas shortly after.

band practice tonight. off i go.

spring spaces

a warm and breezy day with a beam of sunlight on the forehead, small clicks of clothespins, bird song, swishing of grass and leaves. i yearn for such peacefulness spent in simple country. the smells and quiet sounds, the feeling of nature on my skin.... soon!!

here it is a gift to catch the modest scent of spring as it can dim in a city minute. earth and rain a reminder of... earth and rain. and family, childhood, essence of self. always with a smile.

--

my seeds arrived today but for now all i can really do is put a rubber band around them and pack the stash someplace safe. maybe i'll make a list of seeds to plant as soon as i land in at the new home, to satisfy the 'gotta do some gardening stuff' itch. and maybe d and i can design a light/seedling starter shelf thing to build this weekend when he comes to visit.

i took some photos of my office today, with the thought of posting before/after office space pics once the after part happens. won't miss the beige mess of cubicle walls and florescent lighting tho, to be honest, it doesn't completely phase me; the laughter of my coworkers and large neighbouring window are what make the place alive. i'll miss that but will gain a more comfortable office space of my own, fresh cut flowers, hardwood floors, singing aloud to music, and nearby canine friendship.

motion

enjoying the sunshine and above 0 temps. opened the streetcar window to breathe and watch the different horizons of each passing street. this weekend i visited girlfriends and their children, discussed cd art, vacuumed the practice space, learned about mortgages. life in motion.

this week i'm assembling a moving crew and filling boxes - it all still feels surreal. not even that long ago, i'd've hardly thought twice about upping and going and starting anew, but now the seat of my pants no longer flies and i tend to grow moss all around me.

onward.

moving away

had a wave of mutil... hesitation wash over me a few days ago. it happened while i was standing on the 4th floor of the four seasons centre for the performing arts (like in this image from their site), watching a ballet performance be workshopped. the beautiful dancers, the building, the strangers... looking out over a busy queen st. i felt really in love with the city. all of its possibilities, all the potentials of myself i could find here if i chose to explore them, the people i could meet and know and love, the importance and excitement of it all... and how i'm leaving it. it shook me and i let myself feel doubt for the first time in awhile. what am i doing? my life here is perfectly set up and great here - why am i going? there are still classes i could take, places to see, people to meet, things to explore... i smoothed myself over with the assurance that this was a temporary feeling, and reminded myself of the frustrations that coincide with living here. besides, perhaps i'll find similar inspirations out of the city too?

--

today was a slotted gym night but got distracted by my wicked stir-fry (2 plates) and a bottle of chardonnay. for 30 seconds i think, "i'll go tomorrow before work!" before acknowledging the very low probability of this. tomorrow after work then. i'm hoping i can find yoga or pick up volleyball or a highschool weight room in meaford and also in future new hometown. tho i will have the outdoors.

dad called with great news about my car situation. i find it amusing and kind of awesome how my family can make plans for me and i'm the last to know. fine by me. dad figures i have too many balls in the air at once so he's offered to lend me his car till the fall. he uses his truck in the spring/summer so it'd be mostly parked anyway. thoughtful papa. i'll have to put new tires on it but since my bro's got garage connections, i'll get a deal and he can put them on for me. team (surname)! come fall i'll buy something of my own, possibly mom's car, but will deal with that when the time comes.

two more weeks till the big move. need more boxes.